That time of year...

Every year about this time, I begin to look at the next school year. Many of you know that I teach special ed. I love it and have been blessed by it. But around this time, I begin to evaluate if me teaching is working for my family. Being a working mom (outside the home- I know sah mom's work too!), while trying to keep up with everything else at times is very tiring. When I took this new job, I told the principal that I took it year by year. I could only commit to one school year at a time. I am not going to lie- this year has been ROUGH! By far the "worst" year ever. Of course this has me thinking "Do I really want to do this next year???".

I know God led me into special ed and teaching. I have now doubt about that at all. God knew that my heart was for children with special needs. But, at the same time, God blessed me with 4 beautiful children. He entrusted them to me, and my most important job is to make sure that I am training them up in Him. I have no doubt that God will lead me to where he wants me to be and what he wants me to do. My job till then- not to worry (which is SO hard for me). Why do I worry so much....is it not knowing , not having a plan? Yep- I am pretty sure that is it. :) I like to know what is going on, or at least know what direction I am going. But as part of the ME makeover, I am doing my best to be still and listen. Listen for Gods nudge on which way to go. Listen to His voice as He speaks His will for me. Praying constantly that my worry will not interfere with, or over shadow His voice.

Do any of you find it hard not to worry, or to give up that control that you "think" you have over it all??

Decluttering EVERYTHING!!

Do you ever just feel like there is so much "stuff" that you just don't know what to do? I am there....so there in fact that this weekend is being spent cleaning out and donating lots of "stuff". I am starting with my home, but will so move on in to myself.

First things first (I wish I had taken before and after pictures) I organized the bookshelf. That may not sound like much, but oh my word it needed it BIG TIME! Next I moved to my kitchen cabinets. There is one that is truly a catch all, and was getting rather annoying. So they are not straightened and ready to go. Next I moved on to a drawer that was begging for some attention. Then to all areas of the downstairs, were I sorted baby toys, and cleaned like a mad woman.

Riley and Ian have helped by picking up their rooms. Now, at this time they just have Rubbermaid tubs to hold their toys and stuff in. Matt and I are going to be building a storage unit for the boys room and for Rileys room this spring. Once we get those built, it will be easier for the kids to clean up and keep their stuff up. at that time we will also sort through toys and let them choose what to keep and what to donate. I plan on continuing to rotate some toys (2 tubs in the attic, and then I can swap them every few months) but most will be in their room.

I am going to tackle the attic and garage tomorrow and Monday. I am so ready to be able to walk in the attic and to park in the garage :)

I know this post wasn't too interesting I am sure....but at times it helps me to list what I am going to do.....next post how I am decluttering my life!

Today I am reminded...

of just how blessed I am. I am blessed that at this time, God has seen fit to bless my children with health. Sure- they get the occasional cold and have some allergies. But they are healthy- free of disease. Others are not so lucky. We have known of several friends/acquaintances who have been diagnosed with cancer, or their children have been diagnosed with it. Every time I hear of this- my heart breaks. My prayers rise to the King of Kings for healing, restoration and peace for the family. There are times where my prayers are answered, but not in the way I had hoped...they are made new - a perfect body free from pain and disease and living with the I AM. Each time, I weep in pain for the family, but also with joy.

My children have prayed for these young fighters. One in particular, Hailey Ann, they prayers each night that God would heal her, and if she went to heaven that God would make her family happy about it. They prayed unprompted, but from their heart. The only death they know about takes them to heaven where it is the best place to be! And they are unafraid. One of Caleb's baseball teammates, Jackson Williams, is going through chemo at the moment. Another child in our community, Savannah Swandal, is struggling as they just got word that her cancer has spread. These families need our prayers. These children need our prayers. I have included their CaringBridge sites below. should you choose to visit.

Lord- help me not to ever take for granted their health. Help me to see the blessing when they are clingy because they are not feeling well. Help me to always treasure every moment with them, because those moments might be gone too soon.


Jackson Williams:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/actionjacksonwilliams

Savanna Swandal:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/savannahswandal


An Angel in Heaven, Hailey Ann Trainer:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/haileyanntrainer

New Year, New Me and New Goals

How did you like the title of that one! I am super excited to restart this blog. It has been way too long and I love being able to look back and see what has happened with the kids. Blogging sporadically over the last 2 years or so makes me sad as I miss those moments to look back on. I have vowed in the past to do better about blogging and failed, but this year- it is on!

Not only have I usually said I am going to blog more, but I find myself wanting to work on me. I think I am half way decent ;) but there are some areas I want to work on. I want to be more disciplined- not only in taking care of me (eating smaller portions, exercising), but also I want to grow in my spiritual walk with Christ. I have found over the last year that I feel more stagnant. By that I mean that I feel like my progress in learning and studying has slowed so much. To be the best wife and mother, I need to focus on my life with Christ. I need to model for my kids, digging into God's word to find answers and to be prepared for spreading His word!

I have many photos and events that I want to document, but I will get to those later. I know I don't have many readers out there anymore. And I am ok with that. Hopefully some of my friends will come back :)

Can't forget the Baby :)

Oh how this sweet baby boy just melts my heart! I cannot imagine my life without him. He has truly made our family complete. He has been such a trooper on our recent travels. He smile is infectious, he learns and changes each and every day. Watching him grow I am reminded just how amazing and awesome our God is. I love and am so happy that God is in control of his life, that He already knows what and who Jaiden will become.

Little man is working on crawling, and from there it will go so fast. He is shy at times, and loved his mommy and daddy so much. He squeels with delight when Matt walks in and if he doesn't get picked up right away by him, will scream till he does :) He looks so intently at you that you wonder what he is thinking at that moment. He loves to buzz his lips and adores his siblings. He loves to laugh and he loves his school. He just soaks it all in and loves each day.

The 3 Amigos

How I love these three!!! They are amazing, wonderful and pure joys to have in my life. I am blessed beyond measure with all of my kids. The thought that God would entrust them to Matt and I is very overwhelming at times. I look back and think of all the mistakes that i have made already in their short lives, and I am astounded that they love me despite it all! A true gift of grace.

Caleb is growing way to fast for me. He will soon be 8! To think that 7+ years have flown by is sobering. I am so blessed that he has a tender heart for others, loves me unconditionally, loves his Daddy and his brothers and sisters like crazy (although he will tell you that at times, he is not particularly fond of them) :) He is playing flag football and loving it. He is now in 2nd grade and doing well. He loves school and loves that I am next door to his school! He continues to be a leader and example to his brothers and sister. He is such a HUGE helper to me and always strives to please us and God. Sometimes he asks me questions that just blow me away, and he remembers everything!

Ian is growing just as fast. He is now in 1st grade, and has made such a huge improvement in maturity. He loves his teacher and tries his best in everything. He loves going to skate church with Matt and hanging out with all the kids! He loves to be outside and takes every opportunity to be out there. He lives his life with such abandon that I hope I can do that as well. At times that abandon gets him into trouble, but I love that he is passionate about so many things. He is so bright and inquisitive. He gets bored easily, so keeping him entertained can be a struggle. He is getting more into having a baby brother....of course it helps that Jaiden is getting more interesting :) He loves his sister and brothers like crazy, he wears his heart on his sleeve which can hurt him at times. He loves God and loves going to church!


Riley is also growing up way to fast....She is still little, but growing in maturity like crazy. Seems like a little adult already. She will be starting Dance/gymnastics soon and I think she will LOVE it! She loves school, her family and life in general. She is now at school with the boys, at EPE. I love that she is right next door and so close. She is back with Ms. Sebrina, who was her first teacher when I started with Wilson Co. She is so smart and very observant. Matt and I think that she is going to be a song writer. She is forever making up songs and preforming them for us. She loves Jaiden immensely and will always help with him. She is longing to start Kindergarten and to turn 5. Insane that she will be 5 so soon!

These 3 keep me on my toes and constantly checking on myself to make sure that I am modeling who I want them to be. I am constantly humbled that I am their mother, and that it is my job to train them in God. I struggle with that responsibility each day....hearing the whispers in my head that lead me to believe I can't do this and that I am not good enough to teach them. I have struggled with that responsibility since the day they are born. But today starts something new. I refuse to listen to those voices and to give into that insecurity. I will not let fear get in the way of my job as their mother and teacher. I love them with all my heart..

M/M Update

WOW....where to start?? I guess I will start with the love of my life, and my best friend.

Matt is still with Vanderbilt, but in a new area. He is now with the Cooperative Human Tissue Network (CHTN). He is really enjoying this job, but at times it is stressful. He is the "it" guy now :) I am proud of him for taking the leap to this new job. Matt has become involved with Skate Church here in MJ. Every Thursday, he heads to our skate park and gets to know the kids. They do a devo and skate. The kids really look up to him and he loves that God has used him in this area.

I am still with Wilson Co Schools, but am now close to home :) I am working at Mt Juliet Middle and I am loving it. The change itself was rather stressful, but I love the kids and people I am with. They restructured the whole SPED department, so there have been some stressful moments and hiccups along the way. I am sponsoring a Campus Life club at our school and some of the Skate Kids are leading it up. I am super excited that God is using me in our public schools.

We are both loving our church home. Friendship has become our home now. We love the people, the service and the community that we are in. Matt is working in the Recreational Ministry and I am working in the Ladies Ministry. We have been blessed with friends and the ability to jump in to work with our church.

God is continuing to bless our lives and our marriage. Since our move here 4 years ago, we have grown not only as individuals but as a couple. God has moved our relationship more towards each other and him. I am truly blessed to have Matt in my life. He is my best friend and I love spending each day with him.

A New Start

Well...in all the craziness of starting a new job and having 4 kids, our blog took a back seat to everything else. So today, in a way, is the start of something new. My hope is to update at least once each week, and this will continue to be a blog about our family, with work and my thoughts mixed in.

The next few days I will be doing a few blogs to "catch up" on the things going on right now. There is no way that I can completely catch up, but I can at least get on here what is going on right now. :) So be on the look out for all the changes that are coming up.

You could win....

New beginings in a lot of ways

Well, our summer has officially started. Although we have been extremely busy I have loved every min of it. I am hoping I can keep up with our blog better than i did through out the year. At the moment I am a SAHM. I am still looking for a job, but we will have to wait and see what God has in store for me. I am trying to be still and patient in this process, but it is difficult.

The kids ask every night before going to bed, "do we have school in the morning" and each night I answer no. They get all excited :) Jaiden is growing like a weed. I am amazed that he is 4 months already. Seems like yesterday that he was born. Riley,the poor lonely girl in our family has hit the drama stage. I am hoping it is short lived, but I have a feeling that it will stretch out since she is the only girl. I just repeat to myself several times a day " it could be worse, just breathe and correct". HA! Here are a few previews of pictures I will be posting on here soon.

Saying Goodbye

This post is dedicated to my students who will never see it. I have applied for a transfer closer to home. If I do not get one, I will resign from my job at LHS. I have now been there 3 years and I love my students. They have all been amazing kids and I was blessed to be there teacher. I will post more, as these were taken when we were not in our room, but thought I would do a preview.

First taste of cereal

Although it looks like I am feeding his nose, he actually did well with the first try. He has had some since, and is slowly liking it. I tried mixing it with formula, but that was a no go. So we stick with water. I think that next month as long as he keeps doing well with the cereals that we will start baby food.

Ian's Performance and Ceremony

Well- Ian had his Kindergarten Graduation. It is nuts to think that next year I will have a 1st grader and a 2nd grader! He has had an amazing teacher this year. Mrs. Jernigan was amazing and helped get him into school. She has a son who loves Star Wars, so that was right up Ian's alley! She will be leaving this year to become a Librarian at another elementary school. We will miss her greatly, but we are also so excited for her!! We are really proud of Ian!!

Ian and Mrs. Jernigan
Checking out his portfolio for the year
After the program
Ian getting his award for curiosity! I asked if that meant he was into everything, but Mrs. Jernigan said that he always asks the why questions and the deep discussion questions- wanting to know more.
ABC Rock
He spotted us! We were supposed to be in the section right in front of him, but there was no room- there were tons of people there

Riley's Debut

Well- One day I will figure out how to get these in order- I have tried every which way and I am giving up for the sake of getting them posted- any of you who still read this- tell me what to do!!!

Riley had her Nursery Rhyme performance for her class. It was really cute and Riley made a very cute kitten. She sang Pease Porridge Hot, and was a Little Kitten who had lost her mittens. I am excited to see her in dance in the fall- she is loving the stage!

Daddy and his baby girl! (LOVE this picture of them!)
Papa, Riley and Grandma
The 3 amigos...I mean kittens: Lily, Riley and Emma
Singing Pease Porridge Hot
Jaiden was enjoying the show...he was in front of Matt and I- I think he was trying to figure out how we got back there
3 little kittens, momma cat and Mother Goose
Riley and Lily- best of friends
Matt putting on Lilys nose
My little performer
Getting her nose and whiskers on

Long time...

Well- I am finally getting around to posting pictures of the kids. This one will be dedicated to Jaiden- you will see more photos of him in the next ones to come as well. He is growing like a weed and it is so hard for me to think that in June he will be 4 months!! That is insane! He is full of laughter and smiles. Here are some shots of my baby boy!

I am amazed he is smiling while in the car seat. Of course having mommy do silly things to get h im to smile could have been the reason! :)
Sweet boy after bath time
We call him Chunky Monkey- he is FULL of rolls!
Not sure why this is sideways, but every time it loads this way- so turn your head to see those beautiful blue eyes!
Loves his bath times! He will be a water baby just like my other 3!

To all the Mom's I know..

Happy Mothers Day!!

There are so many reasons I love being a mom. Seeing the joy in their eyes, the wet and fast kisses, the hugs, the smiles and sound of their laughter, the excitement they bring, their energy, chasing the fears away, wiping the tears, calming snuggles. I became a better person the day I became a mom.

I love you Caleb, Ian, Riley and Jaiden. I cherish each of you, I love each of you and I am PROUD and BLESSED to be your mom. Thank you for making me feel loved!

I love you Matt- Thank you for blessing my life and loving me unconditionally. You and I are in it for the long haul, and I am so thankful that I get to spend the rest of my life with you!

Long time...

Well it has been quiet a while since I have posted on here. Life keeps me pretty busy, and since I am now back at work- I find that my time is pretty limited. I am going to have to rearrange my time to get it all in! :) I have tons of pictures that I am going to be getting on here. But before that comes an update!

I am back at work, and so far Jaiden is loving his class. It took him a while to adjust, and for me to adjust, but we are getting there. Only 3 more weeks left and I am counting the days! :) I applied for a job closer to home and had an interview a few weeks ago. I am starting to get a little worried as I have not heard anything. But I am trying to be patient and hear God's voice. I know that He will tell me what to do.

Caleb, Ian and Riley are growing like weeds. I am constantly amazed at how they are maturing and growing right in front of me. I get teary eyed just thinking that next year, Caleb will be in 2nd grade and turning 8!! Seems like not that long ago, he was a baby in my arms. Sigh..... I know it is part of the "process"- just wish that he would slow it down a little.

Matt has started a new job with in Vandy. He is working for the Human Tissue network. He is really excited about it and will do an amazing job. I got to see his office and visit the bldg the other day. Pretty nice! Helps that a Starbucks, Borders and Bread & Company is right downstairs! :) I can see myself visiting often ;)

Well on to pictures...they are on the way!

I have a bunch of photos to upload and will get them on here soon along with several posts that I have been wanting to do. With all the flooding, we are out of school- so hopefully I will have time to do this today! :)

Pictures...

Pictures are coming soon. I promise! :)

Time to Renew

Today is the day that I will be "released" to exercise. Now I have been doing way more than I should since I left Room 217 at Summit Med Ctr., but this marks the day that my honest to goodness exercise and healthy eating regimen begins.

So as I begin to renew my body physically, I will be working on renewing my heart as well. Making sure that I am taking the time to spend time in his word, in prayer and in praise. Not only with my time but with the kids and with Matt. I don't want a day to go by that I don't take care of me and my spiritual journey. I want to make sure that He is my priority.

Today also marks the day that says I have 3 weeks till i should be returning back to work. I say should because I gave myself 3 weeks of "security time". I can still take up to 3 weeks of leave. I may use one of those weeks. I would love to go back to school that first week in May and only have 4 weeks till the end. But we will see. I can do anything for 7 weeks, but I am just not sure if I am ready to leave him :) We will see.

Pictures are coming- I have to get them off the camera. I have been trying to catch Jaidens smile and his pouty face that he makes when he is about to cry or is startled (I LOVE that face). I also have some of the bigger kids that I can't wait to showcase! They are growing so fast and I wish time would pause and let me enjoy this time that we are in... but every time I ask them to stop growing??? They tell me God won't let them :)

Oh one very funny thing that Caleb said recently... As some of you know, Caleb can on occasion have issues with using the restroom. We have meds for it, but when he eats too much dairy, he gets stopped up. I asked him the other night if he needed to go, and he told me no. So I did the mommy thing and double checked. He replied, " Mom if you prayed and asked God right now I am sure he would tell you that I don't have to go". Smart kid....what do you reply to that one??