Starting Anew

Kind of a weird title, but it is meaningful to me.  As crazy as my life is and as busy as I am, this blog takes the back seat.  Not that I mind that....my family comes first. But at the same time, I need an outlet and this blog will become it.  With the looming end date for my job, the glorious prospect of homeschooling, and the needed list of things to accomplish before the start of next year...I need a place to talk, ask and remember.  I have stated that I am starting over a lot on here...but this is a bit different.  I know I won't update all the time, and I won't always have fun things to say or do.  But I hope that I can chronicle this process of becoming.  Becoming the woman, wife and mother that God wants me to be.  There are  a ton of ways that God is stretching me, molding me and challenging me to search.  I love that, I love that I am still growing.  This blog will be the place to stretch, to learn and to grow.  It will still be loaded with pictures of the kids and updates on our family- that is all part of me becoming. 

I did it

Today I took that leap of faith, today I trusted fully in the assurance that God will provide.   

Today- I turned in my notice at work.  This will be my last year teaching at MJMS.  I love what I do and who I work with , but Matt and I decided that this was the time for me to stay home, AND to homeschool our kids next year.   We are very excited about this new phase of our life and I cannot wait till Summer!

New Year- New Me

I love the start of a new year!  I always feel refreshed and even though I don't do "resolutions", I do set some goals.  For years I have had goals, that in reality I never accomplished.  Some that feel by the wayside with in a few weeks.  Some I stuck with, but didn't see results, so they fizzled out.  I love to have goals, as it gives me something to strive for.  This year, as in years past, I set some goals to better me.  But the main difference this year is that these goals are simple.  I didn't go all out and crazy and specific- I believe that is where my downfall usually is.  I get to specific, and when I don't reach them, I give up.  I also decided to post them on here to remind me.  To remind me of what changes I want to make in my life, in my family's life, in my marriage and in my relationship with my children, family and friends.  So- without further adieu....my goals for 2012 (you know you are excited to read them!)  :)

1) Make Healthy Lifestyle Changes:  This seems like a duh moment, right?  In years past I have always stated to loose weight.  Who am I kidding??  4 kids later, my body is not the same and will never be that pre-kid size/shape again.  So now my goal is to be healthy.  To make good choices in food and exercise.  No diet here.  We eat fairly healthy, but we can still improve.  This is a family change too.  Not just for me, but for my entire family.  For us all to be healthy and active.  I want my kids to grow up making good choices.

2)  Read every day:  Here is the kicker.  I am going to read 3 chapters out of the Bible, and then read what ever else I want.  I want to make sure that I am in the Word each day.  I will confess right here that I am not doing that right now.  I  don't take the time to read God's Word, but I do read other things.  His Word needs to be first!


3)  Take a Sabbath:  Yep- you heard me.  I don't think I ever really rest.  As a mom/wife/teacher I am always doing something.  Each day I am cleaning, working and trying to keep it all together.  But I need to rest as well.  My body and mind need that rest, that time to recharge.  Now...can I do it for a whole day straight?  Probably not, especially in the season of life that I am  in, but I can do a few hours here and there.  

4)   Take intentional time for Matt and I:  This is a no brain-er.   We spend time with each other, but taking the time to occasionally get away for the weekend, and to go on dates more often.  Not just one on one time after the kids go to bed.  My marriage is top priority, and I want to make sure that I am putting all I can into Matt and I.

Eloquent Words

There are some people who are so eloquent in their speech.  I am not one of those people.  I would love to be, as I love reading what they say and I always think, " That is what I want to say, but I can't get it out that well".  The funny thing about that is that I teach Language Arts.  That encompasses reading, grammar and WRITING.  Do you see the irony?  Oh I can form a well structured paragraph, but it isn't always eloquent.  :)  As my students sometime have trouble, I often have trouble expressing myself with words.  I have to think about what I want to say, because let's face it.  Sometimes words don't come out right.  I want to be (and have to be) intentional with what I say, and I want to make it count.  All that to say- this will not be an eloquent post.  If that is what you are looking for- slide on by!  It will be filled with mistakes that I will  miss (and probably not go back to change once I see them, because let's face it...there won't be time as the kids start to get up), phrases that will make people think I might need some sort of therapy, and will possibly make someone laugh.  

I don't always have a lot of time to read blogs like I would love to.  I stumbled across a post that is circulating around facebook.  I read it, I laughed, I nodded my head, and led to another blog post that humbled my heart, straightened my mind and put a resolve in my heart.  You see...we are in the throng of child rearing.  We are in the throng of teaching our children right from wrong.  It.is.hard.  There are days, that I go to bed thinking.." today I snapped at the kids who were not getting ready fast enough for school, so we were almost late, then I taught someone elses kids who have no respect for me, themselves or others; I came home and rushed to get it all done- ignored and pushed away to prepare dinner; I encouraged and at times argued with the homework child; I said NO more times that I can count; I broke up arguments; I tried to snuggle with my kids, but they argued like cats and dogs and didn't listen; then they are put in bed with a hug, kiss and sigh from a tired mom" how the heck did that go?  Not well!  It is not easy when there are days you feel like you are always saying no, always questioning if you are raising and teaching them right since they fight like crazy and are not the kindest to one another.  There are days that I struggle with consistency, and not sighing and saying "fine" or "Whatever".  Tossing in the towel on those days would be so easy...so easy and yet so destructive.  Not to say it never happens, but I regret the days I did that.  It always returns much worse.  God blessed me with these babies, he entrusted me with them.  What a great responsibility it is.  To teach them right from wrong, to teach them about love, grace, hope, kindness, patience, self control.  To teach them to turn the cheek and not retaliate, that two wrongs DO NOT make a right.  To teach them to stand up for what they believe and for each other.  To protect their minds while allowing them to grow and learn.  It is not for the faint at heart.  But daily, God renews my mind and whispers- "You can.  You can do this.  I wouldn't have given them to you if I didn't know you could do this.  Yes, it is hard.  Not everything is easy.  As you teach my children, you grow and you seek more of me.  You are teaching them to seek me.  Will you mess up?  Of course, but you seek forgiveness and your children learn that from you.  Love them, trust me."  So each morning, I pray to  not take them for granted.  To not wish these years to be gone.  To wake up each day and remember that my job will be tough, but that HE will carry me through the hard days, and that one day all the hard work will hopefully pay off.  That one day my children will rise with thoughts of HIM, and will love others to show them Him.  

Until then I will "no" away, I will love with toughness, and snuggle and bestow grace when needed.   

A time to be Bold

Since this is my blog I decided it was time for me to speak what is on my heart and mind.  :)


Most of the time I look like I am an extrovert- always happy, friendly- a real go getter.  I am those things, but I also need my own time, family time and quiet time.  Needless to say, the quiet time does not occour very often.  I am blessed that my amazing husband gives me time to do things that I enjoy, and even though I do not do them often- when I do, they leave me refreshed.  

This year has been a struggle for me.  Well- this school year.  Not just physically and mentally, but spiritually as well.  There have been days where I literally have just wanted to get out of there the moment that I got there.  My heart has been heavy and as hard as I try, there were many times when I couldn't feel Gods' presence or hear his voice.  When I felt that around every corner, was another attack from satan.  I have spent many hours in prayer , praying for big changes in my heart, mind and soul.  God has granted me these and I am grateful.  There are still days where something happens that gets me down, but they are far and few between.   I still feel restless, knowing that God has a bigger plan for me and for my family.  So I continue to pray and try to be still.  Hopefully sometime soon I will know where the path God has laid out for me is. 

Halloween 2011

This year Halloween fell on a Monday, so we tried to make it fun, but not go crazy on candy or staying up late.  I am certain the kids teachers were thankful for our efforts!  We started out the morning with Halloween donuts for breakfast- they kids were so excited since we don't do donuts very often.  After they got home from school, it was time to get ready.  Caleb was Shawn White, Ian a Knight, Riley was a bride and Jaiden was Tony Hawk.  They had so much fun.  Our neighborhood gets tons of traffic, so Jaiden rode in style (much to his pleasure!).  We had fun, and the kids racked up.  There were two houses that Riley refused to go up to with out Matt or myself.  One happened to be our neighbor (and Riley's K teachers house).  I had to laugh, because she had watched Mr. Koehn set it up and was excited to go, but then reality hit and even though she knew who it was, I went with her.  All in all the kids had a great time this year, and we successfully avoided the scary costumes for another year!

Honeysuckle Hill Farm (TONS of pictures, so be ready!)

My pictures do not do this place justice!!  Seriously- it was SO much fun!  The kids had a blast and we literally spend almost all day there!!  They had animals out, a hay bale maze (which my kids did over, and over, and over again!)  There was an awesome sand pit, a large jump pillow, tunnel slides (one massive looking one that my kids literally zoomed down), pumpkins, corn maze, the corn box (think sandbox but with corn), Cow train and a ton more.  Even with our large family, it was super affordable and worth every penny!We will definitely be making this a yearly trip. 

Ghouls at Grassmere

We had an amazing time at Ghouls at Grassmere at the Nashville Zoo!  We have never been, and we ended up going the weekend of Halloween.  I thought it would be insane, but we went of Friday evening and it was not busy at all!  It was pretty cold, so we we re all bundled up, and poor Jaiden's hands were chilly by the time we left.  They had Trick-or-Treat stations set up around the Zoo, and some of the animals were out.  There was a maze, Hayride, Dance area, Game tent and fire pit.  It was a ton of fun, and the kids really enjoyed it!

Punkin Carving Time!

                                        

We had so much fun carving pumpkins this year.  The kids were so gung-ho about it.  They all reached in and cleaned their pumpkins good!  Last year, they were so timid about the "goop" that I did most of the cleaning.  Of course the boys had the most fun with the "guts".  Jaiden even cleaned his pumpkin, although he wanted his hands wiped after each reach in  :) We went through a lot of wipes Sunday.  That is one thing that I love doing with the kids.  Every fall I love watching my kids at the pumpkin patch, carving pumpkins and being thankful for all that they have.  Our family is so richly blessed, and at times I over look it or take it for granted.  I am grateful for the small things that I get to enjoy with them.  One day they will be too old for all these fun things.  But I will always cherish the memories!