Remembering...

Now I am not one to drudge up past experiences or anything. I hate reliving past events that hurt me, but this being the 5th anniversary of September 11 had me reliving a lot of memories.
I didn't get to watch any of the news coverage till this afternoon since we took Riley to the Dr this morning. I was not prepared for my reaction. I sat and cried like a baby. It was several minutes before I could compose myself and clear my head. Caleb and Ian had no clue what to do and Riley just looked at me with a puzzled look on her sweet face. 5 years ago I was student teaching at Crystal Hill Magnet under Stacey Hodge. We had students, but could tell something was wrong, so I was sent to investigate. After seeing the news and relating it to Ms. Hodge, we continued on with our day like it was any other so the students wouldn't know what was happening. After work, I headed back to the apartment, and really needed gas but there was no way I was going to wait in line for 3 hours. I waited for Matt to get home and we watched the news. Neither of us talked. Neil came over and watched for a while. We ate dinner in silence. I cried but could not tear myself away. I felt anguish and grief for the families and for the first responders who were working fervently to find people trapped in the wreckage. I felt angry and ready to exact revenge. I prayed so hard....so hard.
That is a moment that is implanted in my mind. Will I ever forget-at least I hope not. I hope I continue to live to the best of my ability. I pray that I am able to spread the word of God before my time comes to an end and that I live my life like it was my last day on earth. I won't forget- I hope I will always hold a small hole in my heart for those who were lost. I hope I never watch a memorial for 9/11 and not cry. I hope that we as a nation never forget the moment that the whole country, if only for a moment, hit their knees in prayer and cried out to our God who wrapped His arms around us and reassured us that all will be fine.