Every year about this time, I begin to look at the next school year. Many of you know that I teach special ed. I love it and have been blessed by it. But around this time, I begin to evaluate if me teaching is working for my family. Being a working mom (outside the home- I know sah mom's work too!), while trying to keep up with everything else at times is very tiring. When I took this new job, I told the principal that I took it year by year. I could only commit to one school year at a time. I am not going to lie- this year has been ROUGH! By far the "worst" year ever. Of course this has me thinking "Do I really want to do this next year???".
I know God led me into special ed and teaching. I have now doubt about that at all. God knew that my heart was for children with special needs. But, at the same time, God blessed me with 4 beautiful children. He entrusted them to me, and my most important job is to make sure that I am training them up in Him. I have no doubt that God will lead me to where he wants me to be and what he wants me to do. My job till then- not to worry (which is SO hard for me). Why do I worry so much....is it not knowing , not having a plan? Yep- I am pretty sure that is it. :) I like to know what is going on, or at least know what direction I am going. But as part of the ME makeover, I am doing my best to be still and listen. Listen for Gods nudge on which way to go. Listen to His voice as He speaks His will for me. Praying constantly that my worry will not interfere with, or over shadow His voice.
Do any of you find it hard not to worry, or to give up that control that you "think" you have over it all??